Family Guy: Why Stewie & Brian Aren’t Real Friends | ScreenRant

Since they’re the two most sane and most sensible characters in Family Guy, it’s only natural that Brian and Stewie Griffin would get along well. They’re two of the show’s favorite characters and whole episodes have been dedicated to just the two of them, but that doesn’t mean their friendship is genuine.

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While it’s true that they do have chemistry, they’re also quite toxic for each other, and there’s plenty of evidence to prove that Brian and Stewie’s friendship is not that great. This may sound like it doesn’t matter all that much in a show like Family Guy, but here Brian and Stewie aren’t good friends based on real-life standards.

10 Stewie Beat Up Brian Over Money

An infant beating up a dog black and blue is not something one sees every day on television. This happened courtesy of Stewie’s shrewd gangster mentality when he decided to clobber Brian senseless over some money owed to him. Brian was bleeding by the end of this scene, which goes to show what the show will put him through for laughs.

It was rather disturbing to see even a jerk like Brian get violently battered by his best friend. Stewie did it again, but replaced “money” with “Emmy,” as in why Family Guy isn’t getting any Emmy awards and why Brian was to blame for it all because of one measly vote.

9 Brian Constantly Neglects Stewie

Despite going full gangster on Brian on one occasion, Stewie is still a helpless baby, believe it or not. So when both he and Brian go out on their own Family Guy adventure episodes, he usually needs adult supervision, even when he invented a time machine on his own and was able to change timelines.

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Still, Brian proved that he’s no good as a guardian figure nor a good father-figure, as he never hesitates to leave Stewie behind just to score with some college girls. That pretty much makes Brian an irresponsible uncle of sorts to Stewie. Well, he is a dog.

8 Stewie Tends To Have Evil Breakdowns

Oddly enough, Brian is well aware of what Stewie is capable of, especially at his worst. This includes being the evil villain of Family Guy, sometimes taking over the world or even plotting from one timeline to inflict as much damage and chaos as possible on another.

When this happens, Brian is nothing but collateral damage and someone who’s nothing but a mere annoyance to Stewie. After all, Brian is part of the world that Stewie is trying to ruin and oppress — and he knows that Brian is a tyrant-hating liberal, doesn’t he?

7 Brian Makes Indecent Advances On Stewie’s Mom

Proof that Family Guy doesn’t respect any taboo or boundary, suggesting bestiality is a long-running theme when it comes to Brian and Lois Griffin’s relationship. Brian just keeps trying to bed Lois, who is Stewie’s mother and also a human, while Brian is obviously a dog.

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Apart from this, there’s plenty of ethical stuff wrong with wanting to have sex with a best friend’s mother. Brian just doesn’t care about the implications and neither does Stewie, it seems. But this doesn’t invalidate Brian’s transgressions one bit.

6 Stewie Mocks Brian’s Failed Writing Career

Brian and Stewie are certainly close — probably the closest among all the Griffins. So, Stewie knows all of Brian’s weaknesses, including the fact that Brian’s a struggling author who almost always never puts out any successful work.

Stewie has no qualms about mocking Brian for any of his failures. There was the time where Brian’s book, “Faster than the Speed of Love,” flopped badly and Stewie’s most constructive gesture for him was to make a fort out of Brian’s books and say that the house was made of mediocrity.

5 Stewie Stole And Wrecked Brian’s Car

There were moments when Brian acted like a responsible parent to Stewie, including when Stewie stole Brian’s car and wrecked it. Stewie apparently got addicted to driving and being able to do things reserved for adults.

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He was probably just goaded by Rupert into driving the car, but either way, Stewie cost Brian a ton in car repair and insurance. Not to mention, Brian would have been blamed if anything bad happened to Stewie since it was his car. If anything, it should have been Brian beating up Stewie for money, instead of the other way around.

4 Brian Always Mistreats Stewie When He Has Success

Turns out Stewie was in the right when he ridiculed Brian’s failed novel. Brian practically sold himself and his beliefs out in order to get the book published smoothly. He also became a big author for a time due to celebrity endorsement.

This was when Brian quickly shed the nice guy facade and became an arrogant bully. Stewie was kind enough to be Brian’s manager for the book, but Brian took this as a free pass to berate and mistreat Stewie.

3 Stewie Killed And Tortured Brian’s Family

This is by far one of Stewie’s worst crimes committed against Brian. In one episode, he decided to track down, torture, and even kill Brian’s relatives just to blackmail Brian into buying him some Hannah Montana show tickets?!

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Being a villain, Stewie blows up one dog and then places the others in a rack and an iron maiden. Brian had no choice, so he did what he could to get Stewie into the show. Too bad Hannah Montana turned out to be an android. There goes Brian’s bloodline.

2 Brian Crossed The Line With Rupert

Rupert is a special buddy to Stewie and someone who helps the baby develop his imagination and even comforts him at night when the lights are out and monsters start coming out from under the bed. But Stewie catches Brian acting very inappropriately with Rupert.

To Stewie, Brian violated Rupert and the show went to great lengths to portray the damage this caused to the baby. Apart from not respecting family boundaries and seducing Lois or even making out with Meg, Brian also didn’t respect the sanctity of Stewie and Rupert’s relationship.

1 The Time Both Of Them Got Trapped In A Bank Vault

When push comes to shove, these two characters just show how toxic they can be for each other. During a special episode that focused on the two of them, they accidentally get locked in a bank vault and it was a nightmare for them.

Stewie made Brian eat his poop, amongst other things and Brian mutilated Stewie’s ear. The two of them even came close to killing each other. It’s a miracle how they stayed friends with each other after this episode.

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