Kickin’ It with Kiz: How the Broncos can think outside the box when hiring a general manager

Kiz, why don’t you take the job as Broncos general manager? You are a mega egotistical, narcissistic know-it-all! You think you have all the answers. Well, here is your chance to run the show. Let’s see if you can walk all of your talk and put together a Super Bowl winning team.

— P.B., executive recruiter

Kiz: Moi? As general manager of the Broncos? I like the way you think! And how’s this for a name plate on my office door at team headquarters: Big Cheese Kiz. Make me an offer that’s reasonable — a three-contract worth $15 million — and I will sign on the bottom line. Hey, how much worse could I do than drafting Paxton Lynch or signing Ron Leary? What’s more, here is my solemn oath to you, Broncos Country: If the team doesn’t match the 12 cumulative victories of the past two seasons during the first two years of my administration, I will graciously move to another position in the organization at the same salary and find a way to serve the team in a way more suited to my abilities (although I’m not certain Brittany Bowlen needs somebody to wash her car).

After reading your column about the Broncos acquiring Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson I had an even better idea. Why not exhume Johnny Unitas, get some of his DNA and clone him? That probably has just about the same chance of working as your suggestion.

— Michael, repping the 303

Kiz: So you’re telling me there’s a chance? If you don’t want the Broncos to take long shot at Watson, I get it. Go ahead, stick with Drew Lock at QB. He’s got about as much chance of leading the Broncos to a championship as Lloyd Christmas.

Goodness gracious, Kiz. For years, I’ve read your unending paeans to “The Vonster” and wanted to inquire: “Have you asked Von Miller to marry you yet? And if not, why not?” Now now you’re throwing the obscenely over-compensated Vonster under the bus, suggesting the Broncos part ways with him? Shaking my head.

— G-line, casting stones

Kiz: Paeans to Miller? I think you might have been reading the musings of some other Von-loving poet and didn’t know it. While the Broncos couldn’t have won Super Bowl 50 without the Vonster, he has under-performed his contract for five years, as I have repeatedly pointed out, oft-times to the chagrin of Miller. And know what else? I suspect Vic Fangio shares my doubts Miller can be an impact player in the future.

And today’s parting shot asks a hard question: Why is breaking up with John Elway so hard for the Broncos to do?

While stepping aside as GM is a step in the right direction, it is too little, too late for the Broncos. As long as Elway is around, he will always have the final word, which is precisely why the team is in trouble today. Don’t get me wrong, I have always respected John Elway as a player, but not so much as a general manager. Taking a baby step back won’t help. It’s like treating a heart attack with baby aspirin.

— Frank, Arvada

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