Keeler: Steve Addazio’s CSU Rams have 0-12 written all over them

FORT COLLINS — Find a win. Seriously.

At Toledo this weekend? Please. At Iowa? The Hawkeyes will do things to CSU that are illegal in 38 states.

At New Mexico on Oct. 16? Do you think the Lobos are freaking out over a Rams’ troupe that just gave up 24 points at home to Vanderbilt? The same Vandy posse that had managed just three points in their own backyard against East Tennessee State?

“People want to say, ‘Hey, aren’t you going to feel sorry for (yourself)?’” Rams coach Steve Addazio said after a 24-21 home loss late Saturday night to the Commodores dropped CSU to 0-2.

“I don’t feel sorry for myself because I’m not going to drop my head. There ain’t a coach in this program that’ll drop their head. So it’s my job to make sure we just keep swinging away, because that’s all loser stuff.”

You know what else is loser stuff?

• Racking up 11 penalties for 115 yards in losses. At Canvas Stadium.

• A false start during a made field goal attempt that then leads to a missed field goal.

• Two targeting calls.

• A home defeat to Vanderbilt, the Washington Generals of college football. America’s homecoming guest. A baseball school. A football program that hadn’t won a non-conference road game since September 2017.

Find a win. Somewhere. Anywhere.

CSU came out Saturday night firing on all three cylinders. Opening drive: 75 yards traveled on five plays in just 2:03. Rams quarterback Todd Centeio completed his first three throws. Zip. Zip. Zip. Six-nil. ‘Dores on the ropes.

Vandy — Vandy! — outscored CSU 24-14 the rest of the way.

“We took steps (Saturday),” said Centeio, who completed just 17 of his 35 throws after that first series. “We took steps.”

Find a win. Find one with a straight face.

CSU has been outscored 28-14 in the first half over its first two games, a sure-fire sign of iffy preparation and coaching. The Rams have been outscored 28-0 in the third quarter since Week 1, which speaks volumes about adjustments and coaching. They’re 1-for-4 on field goal attempts, a red flag when it comes to details and coaching.

“It’ll be my job to stay on top of that,” Addazio continued. “If you want to play big-time college football, and you lose two games, and you want to talk about, ‘Oh, are you afraid you’re going to lose the locker room?’ Naw, I’m not afraid of losing the locker room.

“We’ll go down to Toledo with 32 people, if we need too, OK? That’s just the way that’s going to be.”

When a reporter started to ask Addazio about tailback David Bailey’s 116 total yards and two scores for CSU, Daz jumped the question.

“Let’s talk about some of the positive things that happened out there today,” the Rams coach snarled, volume rising to match his blood pressure. “Let’s talk about how hard those kids played today. Let’s talk about the explosiveness of some of those plays. Let’s talk about that.”

Actually, let’s not.

If you’ve got a Stalwart Ram within arm’s reach, give him or her a hug. Or a stiff drink. Because based on the last fortnight, they’re going to need plenty of both over the next two months.

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